Haha, you find the answer when you don't think of it at all.

Few days ago when I stood in the shower I suddenly understood what I need to do to come back on track again.

Few years ago I started to train with the amazing armwrestler Malin Kleinsmith, I had almost nothing at that moment. During the year, which were 2006, I learned me alot. I did better up my technique and my strenght wery much. I did also grow as person ALOT that year. Back to what I wanna tell you all...

All the support that Malin give me during that year wasn't much, but it was the right words, both good and bad critique. Her support was always including that I have two choicesboth at the training and at the competition. It tooked a good while until she said it to me with describing words but the choices were:

1. Go up to the table and do my absolutely best and no matter how the end of the matches looked like I should have won.
2.  I should go up to the table stand on the stages where everybody saw me and without even try loose. Even this nomatter how the end of the match looked like.

I should go up and refuse to loose because loosing were just go up to the table and give up before I even try first.

She told me that always most of the time with a voice cold as ice just so I should think why I were there and shouldn't let my nervousness take over and put me down. I did had too much respect for my opponents this time. She really made me compete for my own sake, even if I had did that before I start do it with a passion that were strong.

Now, back again, my way back shall be that NOONE are allowed to tell me that I shall win a competition or against anyone when I am at the competition. I can train to win against anyone, but I do compete because I love it and just because its fun, if anyone wanna pep me up during a competiton. They are just allowed to put this words deep inside my head. - You are not here to win, you here to do your absolutely best, and your choices is to either do your best or give up before you even try. And only you know which choice you wanna take and which way you wanna go.

If I do this next year and start already this year there isn't impossible I will be back again ever further. Now I must prepard to compete alot during next year for my own sake and only because it is SO fun so my complete passion will be back again. It won't happen during the first competition next year it might take every competition for me before the fire blows up for real.

Now I just must planned alot which competitons I wanna go to. And this autumn I will start train hard with my armwrestling training again so my technique became as good as it was 2006, or why not might even bettere than then? *smile*

Watch out for me, 'cause HERE I COME