Now two days in a row I have been soo in for hard training and beacuse of my studies I have planned that I am at the gym in the morning so I can spend the afternoon for my education. I have try this for 2-3 weeks and it has work perfect for me... until this week. Everuthing has went perfect both with training and studies. Why shall I have this setback now?

Both yesterday and today, (and two days before during the two earlier weeks which dosen't matter anything for me then) I have been totally exhausted in the morning and I haven't woke up when the alarm was ringing. I have woke up 3-4 hours later and still been more than just tired. It's feels like I have been up several days in a row and haven't slept anything at all. So now this far I haven't done any training at all since thursday (should have been friday last week and now yesterday and today). Beacuse of my earlier setback I know I can't push my body too hard and then just go to the gym later than I have planned. 

As I have wrote before I had a long setback after I became World Champion 2007! Almost during the whole last year my traning been ruin. Psychological it tooked real hard on me and it ended up pretty soon after I got my title that I had no power/strength at all for training. The only time I had the total strenght at the training where when I coached others. Then, when I put the focus on my own training away I could have some hard matches, but that was just beacuse my "opponent" were trying something new. I did compete during last year but after most of the competition I were total off the day after.

Nothing felt good and it wasn't even fun to compete when I felted like that. Sometimes I even got heared from other: - You can beat her, -You will win this, or - This won't be a problem for you, you are after all a World Champion.
This, made me so angry and it was horrible to feel inside that this "title" I had wasn't anything I dreamt of became as a Junior. I couldn't even tell anyone that I wasn't "happy" with beeing what I was.

At the Worlds 2007 my only plan was NOT beeing #4 again. I knew I should have been more than just happy if I became 3rd in my right, my strongest arm. I had no plan to win any medal in my left arm which I did BEFORE my gold. The days after my unplanned big final I had my both medals at the bed on the hotelroom I saw them and both thought and also said. -Those medals aren't mine. I can't be that good. I'm not that strong so I can get two worlds medals.

Before that I had only 4th places as best, and I felt also that the other armwreslter in sweden should have been suspected over why I tooked those medals. I couldn't even after in many months accept inside my self and tell other that I was a world champion.

Now after more than a year almost 1½ year I can tell other I became WorldChampion.  But now I am on "rehab" for my self with not compete so much during this year just because of this and I train for my goal of standing on the podium at the Europeans NEXT year. I will also became stronger menthally so I won't the so dissapointed of beeing 4th or too surprised of take a medal.

I hope I will have good strenght at the Armwrestling training tonight and also that I at least for tomorrow can go to the gym. I want at least ONE session at the gym this week. Can't take one more setback. Not a hard one or not even a small one either. At least not during this year.

I might go out for a walk later today, I think I need "new air" inside of me and also clean my brain from all hard thought about setbacks.